Grieving the loss of a love, that is still alive.

Written by

Rossko72

Modern man and modern aliments the grief of loss of a real world thats very much alive a breathing yet its meaning is pouring through our fingers . I can’t help but think on the epidemic of modern loneliness and in an attempt to understand it as a form of a psychological state where something or someone feels absent despite being physically present. In today’s hyperconnected world, people may be surrounded by others online yet feel deeply isolated. Social media, while offering constant interaction, often lacks the depth and emotional intimacy needed for genuine connection. This creates a paradox: we are more “connected” than ever but still feel alone. Unlike traditional loss, where closure is possible, modern loneliness lingers in an undefined space, making it harder to process and heal. It’s the ache of missing something intangible community, purpose, or authentic human presence while still being immersed in a world full of digital noise.I have a vivid image of a child reaching for a parent who is constantly absorbed in their phone. The parent is physically present but emotionally distant, creating a sense of absence that is difficult to define. The child feels the ache of longing for attention, connection, and warmth, yet the parent remains just out of reach not gone, but not fully there. This kind of emotional unavailability can be confusing and painful, as it denies the closure that comes with a clear loss. Over time, it can shape the child’s understanding of relationships, fostering feelings of insecurity, loneliness, and a deep, unspoken yearning for connection. I try hard , yet sometimes I feel defeated in my attempts to understand what this will look like 20 years down stream the psychological impact this ambiguous loss will look like.

My. partner and I are so aware of this impact , and in our attempt to honour our relationship and to honour each other we have a no phone rule when we spend time together. It is evident when couples sit together watching a movie yet remain absorbed in their phones, physically close but emotionally disconnected. Unconsciously communication the buzz on my wrist is more important than you , which is far from true . This silent disconnection creates a psychological gap, fostering feelings of loneliness, neglect, and frustration despite shared physical space. Over time, this pattern erodes emotional intimacy, as partners may begin to feel unseen or unimportant to each other. The lack of deep engagement can lead to miscommunication, decreased empathy, and even resentment, weakening the foundation of the relationship. Psychologically, this form of ambiguous loss can cause anxiety, insecurity, and a gradual emotional detachment, making individuals question the strength and depth of their connection. Without intentional efforts to prioritize presence and meaningful interaction, relationships risk becoming hollow, defined by proximity rather than true companionship. Working with couples to build a bridge to find a way back to each other is so rewarding , intentional space for each other , having a partnership rather than a power struggle .

Make time for each other remember the honeymoon phase that time of deep connection, excitement, and emotional intimacy. Re-membering this period isn’t about chasing unrealistic perfection but about rekindling the effort , how curious you where and the appreciation that once came naturally. During this phase, you prioritized each other, engage in meaningful conversations, and express love freely. Over time, as routines take over, these gestures often fade, leading to emotional distance and feelings of neglect, and you might look up from your phone and look at your partner and think , i don’t even know you , let aloan able to answer if you actually like them .

By intentionally re-membering the honeymoon phase, couples can reignite gratitude , affection , joy and intimacy. It reminds them of what initially drew them together and encourages them to romance each other and be vulnerable as you where in that getting to know each other again . Small gestures like leaving a thoughtful note, planning surprise dates,a favourite of mine, or simply listening with undivided attention can restore warmth and connection.

Relationships evolve, but the key to longevity is the discipline of daily effort , just as in the beginning. By cherishing those early feelings and consciously integrating them into the present, you can cultivate that connection , and make them and your relationship more important than what a stranger in doing on instagram

You are important to me, and its important to me that you are important to me .